When The Damn Breaks
by askita
Summary: What happens when you can't hold it in any longer? Written for the 10 Songs challenge. POST IM1


**A/N: I was in a sleepy, sunburn pained state when I wrote this. These go in order. Thanks to jtav for the beta. Usually my stuffis a little more plotted out and a bit more thought is put into things, but following the rules of the game I just ended one segment when the song ended and picked up again with the next song. So these are in order and do tell a story. *grins* Enjoy, tell me what you think. My first fanfic in the Iron Man fandom.**

 **selasphorus on LJ inspired me to do the 10 songs thing. Here are the original rules:**

 ** _1\. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
2\. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.  
3\. Write a ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the ficlet; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!  
4\. Do ten of these, then post them._**

 **My Immortal – Evanescence**

Every time he takes off in that suit my heart flutters and my chest aches and my fingers are itching to grasp him and beg and plead for him to stay and not to leave me again. I'm not sure, but I'm a little lost and left clenching empty air in my hands and I pace and pace and Jarvis updates me every hour of the flight.

I don't know how to breathe half the time when Tony's out there fighting and Jarvis is giving me updates every fifteen minutes. The tears track down my face and I struggle to keep my emotions in check.

When he's on his way back, I gather myself and change and cleanup and wait patiently. When he's landing I'm there to fix him up, patching the injuries that the suit doesn't stop, and I'm here to catch the emotions pouring off of him during the bad missions. I fight the urge to yell and scream and beg him not to go again. Instead, I try my hardest to pour my feelings back into him through a simple touch and a single word.

"Tony."

 **Tenant – Souixse and the Banshees**

Jarvis never says anything to Tony about what I do when he's gone. I prefer it that way. I never try to analyze the feelings I have for him, just struggle to keep them in check, hiding from him when they get to be too much. Every soft 'Pepper' that falls from his lips has me weeping from the inside out and I can't even begin to comprehend what it means.

He catches me one day, tears streaking from my eyes. He's been moving so damn silently lately. I'm using every trick I know to get him to just believe its cramps, but it doesn't work. He escorts me to lie down in one of the guest rooms, and one of his arms is around my waist and he's so close and smelling so good. He deposits me in bed and leaves me with lights dimmed and instructions to Jarvis to intercept all calls to my Blackberry.

I cry into the pillow some more and wonder how much longer I can put up with this.

 **As Tears Go By – The Rolling Stones**

Every now and then I manage to settle myself a bit more and find myself thinking thoughts I shouldn't.

Tony's become such a different person. I've becomes such a different person. There are things that you never think you'll get, but you end up with them anyway.

Sometimes I'm too selfish.

Who'd have ever thought?

 **Love of A Woman – Travis Tritt**

Pepper is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I don't know what's up with her lately, though. She's always been steady, always strong. Everything that I could ever ask for in a PA. Everything I could ever ask for in a woman. I need to find out. She seeming a little more frazzled and closed off every day. I don't know what I'll do if she closes herself off from me permanently.

She's all I really need, all I have, and I need to find a way to help her.

 **I Will Survive – Cake**

She's cracking a little more with each question, tensing with each passing day. I've got another mission coming up, and I don't know what state she'll be in when I get back. I hope she's not strung too tight, because I've been digging and I can't find anything. When this is all in the clear and I have a few days to recover, she's going to have to explain herself.

I find myself lying awake at night, or staring blankly at a piece of equipment or a circuit board and wondering what's up with her and why it's bothering me so much. I know she's hurting, but I don't know why. She won't tell me and it's pissing me off more than I can say. But I know pushing her won't do any good right now. She'll just shut down. I'll wait until after the mission, she always seems a bit rawer, a bit more open during those times.

I wonder why.

 **Every Light In The House Is On – Trace Adkins**

I'm waiting for him again. For some reason tonight, everything in me is loose and silent. Hot tears slide down my face. The music, Tony's music, is down so low I can barely hear it. I wait for him, he's landing soon and I still haven't even left to get myself together. He's been snooping lately, questioning me and I've tried so hard not to break, but Jarvis says it's bad, and I can't bring myself to leave the room that I last saw him hearty and whole in.

The near silence in jarring and a little scary and I'm contemplating what to say to him. Time is up.

 **Not Coming Home – Maroon 5**

He's landing now, and the bots are trying to strip him out of the battered suit. Jarvis rattles off a list of his injuries. Looks like nothing more than bruises and cuts and extreme exhaustion, but the suit will need to be rebuilt from scratch.

We lock eyes for a second, and I'm aware of the tears and the hiccupping breath coming from my lips, and we talk in clipped conversation. The normal cheerful banter sounds forced and dull and my eyes tell a completely different story than my lips.

"When are you going to stop leaving me, Tony?"

"What?"

I look at him, bruised and barely bleeding anymore after some carefully applied pressure and bandages. I've managed to clean him off, mostly, but there not much else I can do right now. "When are going to stop trying to kill yourself?"

"Pepper-" I cut him off when I leave the room.

 **Slow Me Down – Emmy Rossum**

The tears are slipping onto my carefully composed face when he catches up with me at the front door, one hand gripping me tightly around my bicep and spinning me around despite the cut lancing its way down his forearm.

"What is going on with you? Pepper, I don't-"

I slip my arms around him, giving in _finally_ to my baser instincts and holding him tighter than I've ever let myself before. I've spent years pretending Iron Man isn't going to kill him one day. I'm not going to waste any more time.

 **Take It Easy – Travis Tritt**

When she burrows into my chest I'm somewhat at a loss for words. But I've wanted this for so long, even if I've only recently let myself hope, that I can do nothing but hold her to me in a crushing hug. After a moment I lift her chin to look into her eyes and the pain and sadness there is enough to tell me what she's been doing these last months. I've got to program Jarvis to give me explicit answerers when I ask him things like 'How's Pepper doing?' Stupid learning AI.

I turn her toward the stairs, leading her up and only leaning on her a little, despite the fire in my right leg and the aching in my arms and back. Soon, she's tucked into my bed, and I'm curled up behind her, ready to let the conversation wait until morning. Right now, what we need is sleep.

 **Jesus Take The Wheel- Carrie Underwood**

She stirs in my arms moments after I've awoke. I'm ready for her fight or flight response, so I'm slightly puzzled when she turns in my arms and snuggles deeper into my chest, cheek grazing the metal buried there.

She mumbles something and I have to ask her to repeat it.

"Can I stay?" It's sleepy and grainy and breaks my heart with each syllable. I wonder how long I've been hurting her, and realize that it's probably been since I met her.

"Forever, Pepper. Forever." She drifts back into sleep and I follow her, content in the knowledge that it'll be a rough road, but that we'll trek it together.


End file.
